How to get rid friends
Sign up here to get advice and true stories about mental health in your inbox every week. Breaking up with a friend can be even harder than breaking up with a lover, says Sharon Saline, a Massachusetts-based psychologist and lecturer at Smith College School for Social Work who has experience as both dumper and dumpee. It's often harder because we expect those relationships to last. Of course, it pays to take time and think about whether a friendship is worth taking some serious effort to mend. But if you decide that ship has sailed, capsized, and sunk, here's some advice for getting yourself free of it unscathed. Be honest.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why I Got Rid of Most of My Friends
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: "WALK AWAY From BAD Friends!" - Jordan B. Peterson (@jordanbpeterson) - #EntspressoContent:
How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend?
Not all friendships are built to last. You may find yourself in a situation where you need to get rid of an unwanted friend. Breaking up with a friend is not so different from breaking up with a romantic partner.
You may choose to distance yourself gradually or make a quick, clean break. Whatever method you choose, you should also spend a little time evaluating the friendship and your approach to ending it. To get rid of an unwanted friend, you can either make a clean break or distance yourself from them gradually. If you want to make a clean break, ask your friend to meet up so you can talk about your feelings. When you meet up, tell your friend honestly why you want to break up with them.
If you choose to distance yourself gradually from your friend, stop calling or texting them. Try to avoid running into them by hanging out in different places or talking to other people. For tips from our Social co-author on how to decide if breaking up with your friend is a good idea, keep reading!
Explore this Article Making a Clean Break. Distancing Yourself Gradually. Evaluating the Friendship and Making a Plan. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Make a plan to meet up. You will want to select both a place and time, just like you would for a romantic break-up.
It is best to do this in person, not on the phone, and definitely not via text. Conversations like this can be tough, so it is a good idea to practice what you are going to say ahead of time.
Make a list of the reasons why you want to create some distance. Remember to focus on yourself and what you need. This is more effective than pointing fingers and dishing out blame. I don't feel like we are compatible friends. I feel like we bring out the worst in each other. Break up with your friend. Make sure you take the time to listen to them just as they have listened to you.
Then walk away, and be proud of yourself for handling the confrontation in a mature way. If it helps, you can bring an outline of important things to say on an index card. This may seem silly or impersonal, but it can very difficult to remember everything during a tense conversation.
Set boundaries. In some cases, you may never want to see or speak to this person again. In other situations, you may be comfortable remaining casual acquaintances. Maybe we can try talking again in a month or two. Prepare for an emotional response. It can be difficult to predict how this person will respond. They may even try to argue with you. Try envisioning a variety of reactions, and think about what you could do or say. Once you have said what you needed to say, and taken a moment to respectfully listen to them, you are free to walk away.
Prepare for questions. When you have this conversation with your former friend, they will probably ask you a lot of questions. Think about what questions they might have in advance, and think of honest but kind ways to relay your thoughts. Here are some questions that your friend might ask you: Why don't you like me? Why don't you want to hang out with me anymore?
Is there something I did that made you upset? What about our mutual friends? Method 2 of Stop calling or texting. The first thing you need to do is to stop initiating conversation.
Hopefully, this person is more of an acquaintance than a close friend, so it won't be too strange if you don't contact them. Encourage your former-friend to move on by failing to contact them for any reason. Avoid running into them. You will also want to avoid running into them in person.
You probably know where they hang out. Just avoid going there. Sometimes this may mean missing out on something fun, but it is worth it to establish some distance. However, if you do run into them, here are some tips to make things less awkward but still distance yourself.
If you go to the same school, keep yourself busy with your schoolwork. If the person approaches you in class or after class, say that you're in a rush and a little stressed about your work.
If you're at a party, offer to help out at the party, or excuse yourself to go say hello to someone else, if you see the person. If you do end up talking to them, have a light conversation that is not filled with deep or emotional topics.
You can also invite a third person into any conversation. Decline plans. If they manage to contact you and try to make plans, you are going to need to say no. Here are some ways that you can politely decline an invitation: "Thanks for thinking of me, but I can't make it that day. Be honest. You will need to tell it to them straight and make a clear break in the relationship.
Method 3 of Stop and reflect on the friendship. Before taking any drastic steps, just take a little time to reflect on the friendship. So take some time and think over both the pros and cons of this relationship. There are several signals that a relationship is bad for you. When you are reflecting on your friendship, keep an eye out for signs that the friendship is actually toxic.
If you experience several of these signs, it is a good idea to create some distance. There is no balance. Either they ignore you, or they want way too much attention.
They make you feel bad or try to manipulate you. Determine your boundaries. Will you want to permanently cut ties and never speak to each other again? Do you just need space temporarily? Will you still be cool with them in groups, but you have no desire to hang out one-on-one? Make sure you know what sort of boundaries you will need to set, and be as specific as you can. Think about mutual friends. It is also a good idea to think about and plan how you will handle the issue of mutual friends.
If you want a total break and never want to see this person again, it means that any shared friends will need to choose between you.
It also means you may not get invited to certain events or they may not.
3 ways to end a toxic friendship
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. If you want to make it work, check out our guide to dealing with a toxic friendship for some tips. A lot of people find, though, that with a little time and patience, friendships can grow stronger after moving through hard times together.
Passionate love that can turn toxic and sour or even just Friendships are also complex dances that can end in tears and breakups. If some of your connections just don't feel right anymore, you might be wondering how to know when to end a friendship. Sometimes, you're just at different places in your lives, which itself can be benign.
15 Types of Friends You Should Get Rid Of Immediately
Not all friendships are built to last. You may find yourself in a situation where you need to get rid of an unwanted friend. Breaking up with a friend is not so different from breaking up with a romantic partner. You may choose to distance yourself gradually or make a quick, clean break. Whatever method you choose, you should also spend a little time evaluating the friendship and your approach to ending it. To get rid of an unwanted friend, you can either make a clean break or distance yourself from them gradually. If you want to make a clean break, ask your friend to meet up so you can talk about your feelings. When you meet up, tell your friend honestly why you want to break up with them. If you choose to distance yourself gradually from your friend, stop calling or texting them.
7 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not you need to break up with a close friend
So the undeniable question we are all asking is: How do I get rid of a toxic friend? Maybe your attachment to them is even making you deny how much their presence affects you. It can help to know the signs of a toxic friendship so you can be sure that the relationship is no good. Occasional constructive criticism from a friend can be helpful, but frequent, harsh criticism is not beneficial in any way. Friends who are always stressed out, depressed, or angry are taxing to be around.