How to get rid of a friend nicely
So the undeniable question we are all asking is: How do I get rid of a toxic friend? Maybe your attachment to them is even making you deny how much their presence affects you. It can help to know the signs of a toxic friendship so you can be sure that the relationship is no good. Occasional constructive criticism from a friend can be helpful, but frequent, harsh criticism is not beneficial in any way. Friends who are always stressed out, depressed, or angry are taxing to be around. Then you can figure out the best way to end the friendship and move on.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to end a friendship
- Six tips for ending a friendship gracefully
- How to Walk Away From a Toxic Friendship
- How to End a Friendship
- How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend?
- How to Get Rid of a Toxic Friend: Make Them Walk Away for Good
- 7 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not you need to break up with a close friend
- How to Politely Get Rid of Clingy Friends
Six tips for ending a friendship gracefully
Updated: May 9, Reader-Approved References. As we grow and evolve over time, our friendships will change, too, but sometimes not in a good way.
But how do you do it without drama? To end a friendship politely, try making yourself unavailable whenever they want to hang out by coming up with an excuse, such as having a family obligation. When you do meet up, keep your conversations short and focus on superficial things like schoolwork instead of talking about your feelings.
However, if you decide you want to end a friendship immediately, meet your friend face-to-face and explain to them why you no longer want to be friends. Say something direct but fair, like "Our friendship is a negative force in my life, and I think we should stop being friends.
Together, they cited 21 references. It also received 35 testimonials from readers, earning it our reader-approved status. Learn more Explore this Article Assessing the Friendship. Withdrawing Gradually from the Friendship. Being Frank. Dealing with the Fallout. Show 1 more Show less Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Think about whether or not you really want to cut this person out of your life.
Instead, take a quiet moment to sit down and list the reasons you are friends with this person, and then list the things that you don't like about the friendship anymore. This will give you some insight on whether or not the friendship can be saved, or if you should end things. It will help you experience closure, a sense that you did what was best for your wellbeing.
Are you considering ending the friendship because she forgot to come to your big track meet or because she said something rude about your boyfriend? Unless this is part of a larger pattern of behavior, letting her know she hurt you may be enough to fix your friendship. If you feel bored by the friendship or dread spending time with her, it may mean your connection has faded.
Think about whether or not your issues are things you can address with her to save the friendship. Do you perhaps see a pathway for being someone who can guide your friend through these troubles? Look for signs that this is a toxic friendship. A toxic friendship is an unhealthy relationship in which you feel you are consistently being taken advantage of. If your friend insults you, gets jealous of your other friendships or makes you feel bad about yourself after you interact, it might be time to end the friendship.
Does she use you as a therapist but never return the favor, or ask you to do her homework assignments for her? Does she only focus on the negative things in life? These are all signs of a toxic friendship. If your friend is stealing, hurting people, or generally being bad news, and you seem to get dragged into it, then it's probably not your destiny to "fix" things here. Look after your needs first in this instance. Think about how you feel after you spend time with her.
Give your friend a chance to change. If the good in your friendship outweighs the flaws, then try talking to him about the things that upset or hurt you.
The problems may be easily fixable, and you may not need to end the friendship after all. Remember, no one is perfect, and there might be some ways in which you can learn to be a better friend, too. Can you make more of an effort to be on time? Method 2 of Determine if gradually phasing out your friendship is appropriate, or if you need to have a frank discussion with your friend.
If the person is a long-time or best friend, this is usually not the best tactic for ending the friendship completely. If you just want to step back a little maybe going from besties to just friends, or friends to acquaintances , the gradual withdrawal can work.
But if you want your oldest friend out of your life, you owe it to the friendship to have a conversation with her. Still, you may want to start the process by putting a little distance between you and her. This is hurtful, confusing, and will probably lead to some drama. Be aware that this method can still cause hurt feelings. Make yourself unavailable. Homework, family, religious obligations—these are all reasons you can give for being unable to hang out. Be slow in responding to her texts and try not to talk on the phone as often.
When you do talk, keep the conversations relatively short. Join a club or activity that interests you but not your friend. You can meet new people this way and have legitimate reasons for being too busy to hang out. Spend time with other friends, reconnect with family, or even venture out on your own. If you used to tell her about ever interaction with your crush, or confide in her about family problems, start to dial that back.
Keep your conversations surface level, sticking things like school work. If she wants chat with you for hours about her boyfriend, try to find a way to avoid the conversation or keep it really short. You can tell her you're busy and can't talk, or that you only have about five minutes to talk before you have to be somewhere else. Removing her from all your social media makes your private decision to end this friendship public, and ruin the subtlety of fading out of her life.
Method 3 of Plan what you will say. This is going to be a hard conversation, so you may want to write out the reasons why you want to end the friendship, or even write a script. Sit down with your friend and tell her what is going on. If this person was your very close friend, you owe it to her to have a dialogue and give her a chance to respond, instead of emailing her or texting her. Choose someplace quiet and relatively private so she can react without embarrassment there may be tears.
The lunchroom is not the place for this discussion. Plus, she could show your private letter to other people. Try to be nice but stand firm. Let her have her say. Your friend may have questions and grievances of her own.
She may become defensive, yell, get angry, or cry. If you are willing, you two might be able to talk it out. Stay with her until she's okay. Your friend may take this very hard, and you may need to stay by her side until she's together enough to leave on her own. Method 4 of Don't gossip if people ask you what happened. Talking trash about your former friend is mean and immature, no matter what happened to cause the friendship to fall apart. But most importantly don't do the same to her.
If you talk behind somebodies back, word will most definitely come out. Be polite when you see her. Things might be awkward for a while, and your friend may be angry or hurt, but treat her with kindness and respect. Remember that this is someone who was once your friend—maybe even your best friend—so honor what you had.
Just give her a small smile or nod of acknowledgment and move along. If she talks to you, turn it into a friendly conversation that won't lead into getting closer. Try to keep talks short until she feels as if you don't seem interesting. Mutual friends may take sides, ask you to reconcile with her, or even get angry.
How to Walk Away From a Toxic Friendship
Passionate love that can turn toxic and sour or even just Friendships are also complex dances that can end in tears and breakups. If some of your connections just don't feel right anymore, you might be wondering how to know when to end a friendship. Sometimes, you're just at different places in your lives, which itself can be benign.
Developing a meaningful relationship with a friend can sometimes be as complex as a romantic one. You might have your ups and downs, but then come out stronger and more connected as ever with a real respect to your friendship. Relationships of all kinds can be messy, weird, and complicated. That person would apologize, immediately stop doing the offensive thing, and your friendship with them would be better than ever.
How to End a Friendship
When you first make a new friend, you probably aren't thinking about the future and the possibility that the friendship will end. However, it is inevitable that eventually some of your friends will no longer be in your life. People grow apart for various reasons and not every friendship is lifelong. At the same time, most people aren't sure of the "rules" of ending friendships. Unlike with romantic relationships, in which there are clear precedents about how to " break up " with someone and clear labels to refer to whether you are "in" or "out" of a relationship, the same is not true for friendships. This can leave you in a strange sort of limbo where you no longer want to be friends with someone but don't know how to get to that new place. Before you decide on a course of action for ending a friendship, it's helpful to outline for yourself the reasons why you no longer want to be friends with a particular person.
How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend?
Not all friendships are built to last. You may find yourself in a situation where you need to get rid of an unwanted friend. Breaking up with a friend is not so different from breaking up with a romantic partner. You may choose to distance yourself gradually or make a quick, clean break.
Despite what the Spice Girls would have us believe, it's not true that friendship never ends. Research actually confirms what we've all experienced: Most middle school friendships don't even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we've been sentenced for life.
How to Get Rid of a Toxic Friend: Make Them Walk Away for Good
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. If you want to make it work, check out our guide to dealing with a toxic friendship for some tips. A lot of people find, though, that with a little time and patience, friendships can grow stronger after moving through hard times together. This method involves sitting down with the person and letting them know that the friendship is over.
Updated: May 9, Reader-Approved References. As we grow and evolve over time, our friendships will change, too, but sometimes not in a good way. But how do you do it without drama? To end a friendship politely, try making yourself unavailable whenever they want to hang out by coming up with an excuse, such as having a family obligation. When you do meet up, keep your conversations short and focus on superficial things like schoolwork instead of talking about your feelings. However, if you decide you want to end a friendship immediately, meet your friend face-to-face and explain to them why you no longer want to be friends.
7 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not you need to break up with a close friend
Sign up here to get advice and true stories about mental health in your inbox every week. Breaking up with a friend can be even harder than breaking up with a lover, says Sharon Saline, a Massachusetts-based psychologist and lecturer at Smith College School for Social Work who has experience as both dumper and dumpee. It's often harder because we expect those relationships to last. Of course, it pays to take time and think about whether a friendship is worth taking some serious effort to mend. But if you decide that ship has sailed, capsized, and sunk, here's some advice for getting yourself free of it unscathed. Be honest.
When we were younger, it was much easier to make friends. But as we get older, friendships become more complex and fostering healthy friendships takes a little more effort than it used to. And finding authentically good friends can be hard to find. One of the reasons for this is that we seek something more from friendships than we did when we were younger.
How to Politely Get Rid of Clingy Friends
Clingy friends can cause you to feel emotionally exhausted, leading you to desire less time with them. You may grow frustrated and want to abruptly end the friendship. Rid yourself of clingy friends by setting boundaries, focusing on yourself or giving these friendships a much-needed break, advises Irene S.
When you've outgrown a friend it's hard to navigate the cooling off period. Get expert tips for breaking up with a friend, without acting like a jerk. By Flannery Dean Updated March 23, Learn how to gauge whether or not a friendship has run its course, and if so, three ways to keep the parting short and sweet:.