My boyfriend seems depressed
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years. I can barely get a normal conversation. I feel so alone.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Is Depression Destroying Your Relationship? Ten Commonly Overlooked Symptoms of DepressionContent:
- What To Do When Your Boyfriend Is Depressed
- Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together
- 7 ways to help if your boyfriend is suffering from mental health problems
- When Someone You Love Has Depression
- Depression in Men
- How to support a partner with depression
- ‘I broke up with my boyfriend when he had depression’
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Is Depressed
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years.
I can barely get a normal conversation. I feel so alone. He is trying to get help, but he refuses to go on any medications or stick with a plan to get better for very long. I am so scared that this is going to always be his life—a constant roller-coaster ride controlled by depression. I want so much more for him, and for us. When he is not in the throes of depression, my boyfriend is hilarious, loving, and really fun. I feel like I may have taken that away from him by moving him away from his home.
For four years, we lived only an hour or two apart; then I got a job out of state, and he was so supportive of the idea that he told me I had to go, and even decided to come with me—leaving his family, friends, and comfort zone behind. I am torn between wanting to go home to make him happy and being worried that I might resent him for making me leave these opportunities behind.
I need my boyfriend back. Help me, please. He might not, for instance, be willing to live in Florida indefinitely. Knowing that depression is something that might recur will be important to keep in mind as you see what can be done to help your boyfriend now. Depression, like many other medical conditions, can certainly be managed, but it will nevertheless be something that your boyfriend lives with—which means his depression will be something that you will at times live with too.
Medications for depression can be quite effective, but they also often involve some trial and error and require time to take effect, and the side effects can be unpleasant.
Many people simply give up, thinking that nothing will work. Another option is to see a couples therapist to get help figuring out how to work together as a team not just when your boyfriend gets depressed, but also when dealing with whatever other issues are going on in your relationship—such as the transition to living together and the move to a city where your boyfriend is away from his support system.
A therapist can help you both talk about how these changes are affecting you individually and as a couple. Whichever route you go, a clinician should be involved to monitor his depression and assess for suicidal thoughts as well. You can loop in his family and friends back home and enlist their help and support. They too care about your boyfriend and may even have more experience helping him through a depressive episode.
Now is a good time to figure out that balance. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together
Depression builds walls around people and between people. When someone you love has been dragged inside those walls, there can be a distance between you both that feels relentless. Not in the way you both want to be anyway. The symptoms of depression exist on a spectrum.
Standing on the sidelines when a partner battles depression can feel like a helpless experience. You might feel confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You are not alone. Depression is an isolating illness that can negatively impact relationships and leave loved ones feeling helpless and afraid. The mood in major depression is often described as sad, hopeless, discouraged, or feeling down, but it can also include persistent anger.
7 ways to help if your boyfriend is suffering from mental health problems
When your partner has depression, it can affect all aspects of your life at once. While depression brings with it feelings of hopelessness, the opportunities for recovery are anything but hopeless. Eventually, it became a regular part of their daily routine. They were spending less and less time together in the evenings as he would disappear into the office on his computer and stay there until long after she went to bed. Every day, she would hope for some interaction and invite him to eat with her or talk or even to watch TV. When she did finally confront him about how his habits were affecting their life together, it only made him angry and he retreated even more. When your partner has depression , you too can get caught up in the cycles of their moods and unexplainable suffering. But you can help by becoming aware of signs of depression in your partner and encouraging them to get the help they need.
When Someone You Love Has Depression
If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and hosts of questions. What's it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your relationship? While every person's experience with depression is unique, here are a few things you can do to help your loved one and yourself.
Since you spend so much time together, there's a good chance you'll notice if your partner is depressed. But it can still be tough to catch the earliest warning signs — much less know how to help. And yet, if you both know what to look for , it can mean finding ways to help manage their depression. Or, at the very least, simply offering your partner a little extra love.
Depression in Men
It's Mental Health Awareness Week and we're looking at people's experiences of mental health issues - their own and those of their loved ones. Here, our writer describes her boyfriend's struggle with depression - and the toll it took on her. I met Liam the way many modern romances start. We were friends of friends who started chatting online.
No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had before during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going on—a big deal in this situation—and was equipped to deal with it.
How to support a partner with depression
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. Read about how Sara dealt with the overwhelming experience of helping her depressed boyfriend, and the lessons she learnt in the process. Seeing a loved one go through a hard time always impacts you in some way or another. You watch them hang their head and cry a little, and you pat them awkwardly on the back and tell them it will be okay, because you feel sad for them and want them to be okay. But you then carry on with your own life. When my boyfriend of two years started to get a bit emotional, I told him it was hormones, or the stress of exams, and I said I would hold his hand whenever he felt sad. One Sunday about a month later, I was sitting at home watching the telly when he called and asked to come over. I'll meet you at the train station.
Many people find themselves supporting a partner with depression at some point in their lives. The support of family and friends can play an important role in the treatment of mental health conditions. Depression is a condition that affects around 16 million adults in the United States each year. Depression can take its toll on relationships and may cause loved ones to feel helpless, frustrated, or fearful.
‘I broke up with my boyfriend when he had depression’
How can you deal with the dark shadow of depression in a relationship? What are the challenges you have to face? It is normal for a depression to have a strong impact on life. A lot of things are bound to change with the illness.
During Men's Health Week, here's how you can help if a man in your life is suffering with depression and anxiety. But what should you do if your boyfriend or husband is suffering from mental health problems? A key warning sign that your boyfriend is dealing with depression or anxiety is him shutting down communication. Not every conversation has to be about how he is feeling, as that can feel claustrophobic.
Karen S. She no longer enjoyed her favorite activities, preferring to spend weekends sleeping in and watching TV. Their sex life was nonexistent. If you experience five or more symptoms for at least two weeks, you could have clinical depression, also known as major depression. Plus, we asked therapists for their best strategies to help you and your partner survive depression together.