My boyfriends female friend makes me uncomfortable
The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. This article was published more than 10 years ago. Some information in it may no longer be current. Group Therapy is a relationship advice column that asks readers to contribute their wisdom. Each week, we offer up a problem for you to weigh in on, then publish the most lively responses, with a final word delivered by our columnist, Claudia Dey.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: I Pretended To Be DEAF To Hear What People Say About Me. Shock!
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: My Boyfriend Has Close Female Friends - How To Handle His Female Friends - Greta BereisaiteContent:
- What to Do When Your Boyfriend’s Best Friend is a Girl
- Can Men Have Female Friends In Relationships?
- 10 signs you should be worried about his female friends
- 15 Women Explain How They Deal With Their Boyfriend’s ‘Overly Affectionate’ Female Friend
- Ask Lisa: Uncomfortable with my boyfriend’s relationship with his female friend
- Women are sharing ways their male friends can make them uncomfortable
- Deal with your boyfriends female friend
What to Do When Your Boyfriend’s Best Friend is a Girl
The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. This article was published more than 10 years ago. Some information in it may no longer be current.
Group Therapy is a relationship advice column that asks readers to contribute their wisdom. Each week, we offer up a problem for you to weigh in on, then publish the most lively responses, with a final word delivered by our columnist, Claudia Dey. A reader writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for more than four years. Until this year we were dating long-distance as we were at university in different cities.
In school he became very good friends with four of his classmates, one of whom is a girl. They frequently went out together for drinks alone. There has never been anything to be suspicious about: I would never think that he is unfaithful to me.
I do, however, think she is a little clingy with him, even though she has a boyfriend, and feel that she is in love with him deep down. My problem is I accepted her place in his life when I was away at school as somewhat of a replacement for me, but we have recently moved in together and he has started going out with her again. It makes me feel uncomfortable that she infringes on my territory. How can I learn to relax and not let his relationship with her bother me?
Do not relax. Remain vigilant. Infidelity does not necessarily include physical intimacy. Even "just friends" can carry things too far when alcohol is consumed and conversation becomes flirtatious. If your boyfriend is truly "just friends" with this woman, he should not object to your going along when they go out for drinks. Ask him how he would feel if you went out with a male friend, alone, for drinks.
For the good of your relationship, and hers with her boyfriend, he should break off all contact with her and, in the future, not become close to any woman other than a relative. Are you looking for an excuse to push aside rational fears about this woman that you have sensed because you actually see your boyfriend every day now? Or are you just uncomfortable because you resent this symbol of stability in his life at a time when you are having to make a lot of adjustments to a new place?
I assume you moved to his city, since his friend is still around. Try to join your boyfriend on his outings with her and try to make friends, then see what kind of vibe you're getting. Let's face it: After four years, you're basically married. I don't think you have to push your feelings down inside - you have a right to feel uncomfortable.
You have to talk to your boyfriend about it. Of course he is free to do as he pleases, but he needs to know how it makes you feel. If he really cares about you he'll choose to either put an end to the meetings or probably the best solution invite you and the other girl's boyfriend along for a double date. If he can't agree to this then I think you have a problem.
A splinter, a slip of the tongue, a tight pair of pants: also "uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the human heart and its broad swipe at relationships is much more mysterious and less easily tamed.
It is a fickle mechanism. It resists herding. Most important, the only one who can draw borders around its thumping unruliness - despite even the most graceful interference - is its owner. Your boyfriend has a friendship with a woman that has lasted as long as your relationship.
From your perspective, she was a stand-in while you were away. Though you suspected that she was "in love with him deep down" and "a little clingy," you were decidedly unthreatened by her presence. Now, your circumstances have changed. You have crossed miles, unpacked your bags and melded your towels and cutlery with his. You have bought plants, local art and changed your mailing address.
You are, after years of separateness, finally cohabitating; as such, there is no longer need for a double. She is superfluous. The play is overpopulated; both the star and her understudy are performing.
One must be ousted from the stage - or territory. Tragically, for Do Not Relax Forde, every lover is a lie-detector test; only a sister or cousin second cousin too? Her paranoia is so close to a bedroom McCarthyism, it does not warrant further address. I am sending a knight on horseback to her floodlit fortress right now.
Every man and every woman has the right to exclusive friendship with members of the opposite sex. That said, relationships only survive with insistent transparency, the unfaltering admission of every truth - however difficult its utterance. As Double Date Nak counsels: Talk to your boyfriend. Confess your splinter. Invite him to clarify the scope of the friendship. Make Friends Bullard's advice achieves the same outcome: Dismantle the threat by befriending the threat.
In the end, the only question you really need to answer is: Do you trust your boyfriend? If yes, Territorial, do not claim his heart as your own. Experience tells me one per person is plenty. Click here to read next week's question and to contribute your widsom - or submit your own dilemma.
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Readers can also interact with The Globe on Facebook and Twitter. Read our community guidelines here. Customer help. Contact us. Log in. Log out. Article text size A. Claudia Dey. Special to The Globe and Mail. Published February 26, Updated April 28, Published February 26, This article was published more than 10 years ago. Don't trust them Story continues below advertisement. Story continues below advertisement. Follow us on Twitter globeandmail Opens in a new window. Report an error Editorial code of conduct.
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Can Men Have Female Friends In Relationships?
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Friendships, just like relationships, have the potential to be one-sided and toxic. But with friendships, it feels like there's less of a clear blueprint on how to handle things, and how to navigate a friendship breakup if you decide you no longer want a former pal in your life. And this can be especially tricky when you're a woman who is friends with men. For the most part, our male friends are good lads who treat us with respect - otherwise we wouldn't be friends with them, right?
10 signs you should be worried about his female friends
Are you having a hard time dealing with your boyfriend's female friends? It's common to find that your boyfriend had many female friends especially if he's good-looking , even before you met him. There will be days when he will be with his female friends, which may cause you a pang of jealousy and emotional pain. These steps will help eliminate the problem that a female friend may be causing in your relationship. Was this helpful? Yes No I need help Open the Line of Communication 1 Let your boyfriend know how you feel about the relationship he has with his female friend, and how it's affecting you in the relationship. It's always better to be open about your feelings, rather than holding them inside. Sooner or later these feelings will erupt, causing much more trouble. Give him the opportunity to understand there is a problem, at least for you, so that he can be part of the solution. Communication is really crucial to solving this issue.
15 Women Explain How They Deal With Their Boyfriend’s ‘Overly Affectionate’ Female Friend
So when we get our feelings hurt we discuss it but really try to be kind about it or sometimes avoid discussing it but eventually get around to it , but we never get to the point where we either yell or call each other names. Ok, so back to the best friend. This is a woman who has been his friend for a couple of years before we met, they work together, they get up at just to go meet for coffee before work every day, they have lunch together every day, they run a side business out of her home, and they do several extracurricular projects together gardening, sailing. My boyfriend definitely seems to be the man in her life, though. There have been a couple of examples of that where the third party got their feelings hurt and basically went away.
Questions like: How close is he to that female friend? How often do they hang out? Do they spend time alone?
Ask Lisa: Uncomfortable with my boyfriend’s relationship with his female friend
Data gathered from real women on Reddit. I would assume he could handle it himself. I saw a picture with his girl friend on him with her legs wrapped around him. Not okay.
Should we share our discomfort with our man? Rebecca is in a similar situation. They have known each other for over 10 years now, and he spends so much money on her. And each time I bring this up, we fight. He says she is very important to him. That he will not give her up because she has always been there for him.
Women are sharing ways their male friends can make them uncomfortable
Even the most stable and healthy relationships can be rocked to their cores when one partner has a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex. If your boyfriend has a female friend you may wonder if he is cheating on you. You may also experience feelings of jealousy about the time he spends with her. That's normal. But it's important for you to try to trust your boyfriend and not immediately expect the worse. Try to accept their relationship and be cool with your boyfriend's female friend. If that doesn't work, you may need to take a closer look at your relationship.
Hi guys. I'm new here Lately, I've been stressed by a new addition in my boyfriend's life: his female friend from work. He and I are in our 20s and have been together for two years.
Deal with your boyfriends female friend
Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Hello, thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy thing and respond. I am going to try to write this in an unbiased way.